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Pro/Con: The New School Year

As a child it was clear as day. The new school year meant waking up early, taking showers, doing homework, socializing and a definite decline in video game time. As a college student it meant waking up whenever, doing what I deemed necessary and only occasionally did it require enough effort that it become an irritant. As a parent it meets somewhere in the middle:

Pro: Wear out the Kids.
I swear to god I never thought I would love physical education. Yet, here I am and I adore P.E.! Throw this ball at each other! Jump rump! Run a mile! WHY?!? Now I love the days when the kids have to run. It means they will be that much more tired when they get home. Hallelujah. Nothing quite tells you that the gym teacher did their job quite like coming home and seeing your child stare at the tv like a zombie.

Con: Homework.
With a 3rd grader in the house the homework responsibility is pretty much a 50/50 split. Yes, the student must do the work but the parent must ride them for hours to make sure it gets done. "My hands hurt", "I'm hungry", "I have to poop". You may think it sounds harsh but wait until you have one this age. The excuses above at least make sense but there are plenty that just leaves one in a daze. "I have a headache because the sun is bright when I stare at the grass sometimes, maybe". What?

Pro: Bedtime.
When you tell a child "you need to go to bed" and they ask "why?" it feels WONDERFUL to have an excuse like "Because you need to wake up for school". In the world of kiddom it is the one excuses that seems to work regardless of question.

Q: "Why do I have to eat vegetables?"
A: "Because you need to wake up for school and vegetables help your brain"

Q: "Why can't I jump off the couch onto the rocking chair?"
A: "Because you need to wake up for school and you don't want to wake up in the hospital."

Q: "Why is the sky blue?"
A: "Because you need to wake up for school".

Con: Monday Morning.
Getting a child ready for school in the morning is one of the most difficult things to do. If it is a Monday you might as well forget about it. Weekends ruin children; they are reminded of the freedom they lose during the week. I think weekends should be abolished all together and we should make the summer 2 weeks long.

Pro: Mommy/Daddy Time.
And god created woman. And it was good. Then Mom and Dad created child and they got no time together. With school in session and a bedtime in place Mommy and Daddy get to spend some time together without the kids. Time for R-rated movies and Spin the Bottle!

Con: School starts when?
The later Mommy and Daddy stay up together, the harder it becomes to keep their eyelids open without the aid of toothpicks. The next thing you know daddy is falling asleep at work and getting yelled at by Mr. Jerkface.

So let us celebrate the new school year while we lament the end of summer...

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