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The Musings and Self-Loathing of Jon by Jon

31 July
External Services:
  • jonganahl@livejournal.com
  • atillamccool AIM status
Year 1:
Born a poor black child in the summer of 1982, Jon Ganahl faced all the poverty and abuse that one would expect. Whenever people whould look upon him they would shout "what an adorable little baby, too bad about him being the mail-man's, a comment his father denies to this very day. His parents nurtured him from a very early age and aided (read forced) him to walk by the age of 3 months and he was potty trained by 5 months. The walking was only to use to brag to the other parents in the ghetto about, the potty training was to enable his parents to be able to buy food, as newspapers were quite expensive. By the age of 10 Months Jon had taken up the local past time of rapping and was quite skilled. Early rap stars such as run DMC and Grandmaster Flash would come all the way down to Anaheim to hear the boy spit out rhymes.
Year 2:
Upon Jon's first birthday he was showered with gifts that he had only dreamed of up to this point. As it turns out his parents had leaked some unreleased recordings of his rapping that dated back to 9 months and made a fortune on the black market. Jon wasn't born wit a silver spoon in his mouth, but at 1 year old it was thrust into his mouth, often filled with strained peaches or beats. His silver spoon was stolen from him at the age of 18 months by a hooligan down the street named Foshizzy, their rivalry was one of legendary porportions and was turned into a Made for TV movie called "When the Cradle Rocks" starring Gary Coleman as Jon.
Year 3:
Upon his successful skin bleaching that took place in 1985 things were different for the young Jon who was already reading at a ninth grade level and spoke 7 languages, including Spanish, Russian, Latin, Hebrew and Swahili. He knew at this age that French was a language that was not to be bothered with and was quite slanderous towards both them and the Canadians. Later in life he would grow quite fond of the Canadian National Past-Time of Curling however. It is believed that for some strange reason his skin bleaching killed his Rap Career, for some reason it just wasn't acceptable to be white and rap at the time, however he still had plenty in the bank for a rainy day should one ever come.

To be Continued...
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